Trump’s New Usher Has Deep State in Uproar!

Trump Family Hires New Head Usher…
Turns The Clock Back 55 Years!

Elizabeth Warren: It’s a Scandal! It’s an Outrage!

The White House has it’s new Head Usher.  Amid a swirl of controversy, a little known newcomer, Robert Hoeller, will stand at attention and have the the Ushers’ Pledge of Loyalty administered to him by the Head Hostess.  Not much is known about this new, Mr. Outside.  

EEOC Investigation Into WH Hiring Practices!

Unnamed EEOC field office staff said they had completed a preliminary review of the applicants for this position.  "There were clearly several far more qualified candidates, including one “Barry Hussein”, a retired government employee, living on a pension, seeking to ‘give back’ to the community. 

Barry Hussein: Saddened that after 55 years, American is
no longer going to honor the deal he made when he left Kenya.

We were able to speak briefly to ‘Barry' as he walked from the executive conference room of the Willard Hotel on the way to his limo:  “Let me make this clear. I had a deal. The same damn deal that’s been in place since when I went to Occidental, then Columbia then Harvard and then the University of Chicago Law School as a professor [note; bystanders overhearing this laughed]. It was MY DEAL: Bus pulls up, Barry gets on the bus. The driver, he ax nooo questions - MY deal! Trump busted my deal to be the Usher Organizer. "

It’s not all work for the Head Usher!
Here we see Bob stuffing a priceless piece of Presidential
sports memorabilia under his shirt. Baahahaha

New White House Usher, Hoeller whips up a pan of his “extry-'special brownies. Said Bob, “I want to see Kellyanne after throwing down three of these! You little vixen!

Yippie ki-yay!!"

Bill Crowley, Dean Emeritus of Whitefish Bay Dominican High School has been a long time supporter of Mr. Hoeller’s. We caught up with “Bill” after a round of golf at Ozaukee Country Club. 

CROWLEY: Hey!  Thanks again for the dozen balls and pitcher of Old Fashioneds!!  Now what do you want to know about Bobby??”

ME: Is it true that when he moved to Kentucky, you scraped the BOB tattoo off your arm - the same way that Maximus cut out the SPQR from his arm?!

BC: Let me say that The Gladiator movie was filmed long after Bob moved to Kentucky. So, do you like movies about Gladiators??

ME: So how do you think your protégé will do as the new head usher.

BC: Bartender!  More Beer Nuts here?  Thanks pal!  Oh Bob’ll do just fine. You know I can still remember taking a young Robert Hoeller and Petey Walthers with me to the Fox Bay Theatre to see “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”.  True Story…we’re halfway through the film and Hoeller stands up and yells out, You’ve got great cans, Liz!!  We went the Port Silver Diner after we were asked to leave. 

ME: No, no..how will he do as the new Chief Usher for the White House, not the Fox Bay!  Staff of 90 - Around Melania all day [wink, wink] huh???

WC: Wha??!!  Are you serious??  Why didn’t you call me??  That’s insane!! Don’t ever talk to me again!! [note: at this point the subject left the table and ran for the door]