Heads Roll As Wences Bombs At The Globes

Dateline:
January 14, 2013
Hollywood, CA

A spokesperson for Matt Clift announced his retirement today, less than 24 hours after 99.9% of the Golden Globe attendees refused to accept a swag gift certificate for a FREE Señor Wences mattress set - a marketing promotion he hoped would be his signature achievement. (See my January 4th blog entry for all the details on this new mattress).  Company insiders tell The Fishfry that Clift chose Señor Wences as a development project when Disney executives spurned his requests (pleas), to use Mickey Mouse.

Clift's mentees recall his fondness for opening his staff meetings with amusing anecdotes from the past. Take for example, this gem from 2005: 
"Growing up, all my friends watched Ed Sullivan to see The Beatles, or Rolling Stones. Not me!  I wanted to be Pedro in the Box and tour the world with Señor Wences! It wasn't until my Sophomore year at Kentucky that a Professor told me that Pedro wasn't a real, live talking head as I had thought. That's when I left the Theatre-Dance department and entered Engineering. And did you guys know that the IBM Selectric had a spinning typeball head? And speaking of spinning heads, Karrol...is the menu for the Christmas party all set?  Can we still have Hot Browns and bread pudding??  Say Bob, I bet you enjoy a big dish of that bread pudding on bowling night don't you?!  HA!! wait for it..2,3,4.. HA!!!"

Years later, Clift's Wences jones finally got the better of him and he frantically pumped huge amounts of R&D money into the very hush-hush Wences mattress project. Analysts say Clift predicted a successful, star-studded Globes rollout would propel him up the ladder to the COO title he always yearned for.
As things turned out, what he actually got from his Golden Globes giveaway fiasco was a seat next to Jodie Foster on her spaceship heading off to a far distant galaxy -- a spaceship equipped with the one & only Señor Wences Bed taken at the Golden Globes...by Jodie Foster!!

1975 Bryan Station High School Variety Show
Starring: Matt Clift as 'Pedro in the Box', with Kinetic Boy (Bob Hoeller), as Señor Wences.
"You OK, Matt?"
"S'aawright!!"