XMAS Season Rules for shopping at Publix:
1) Bring your A-Game or go home
2) Make a list. If you don't have one stay outside until you do.
3) You say you "hardly never" do the shopping, but the wife's home sick? Tough darts! Leave Publix and go to Ingles. This is no time or place for rookies!
4) NO U-turns in an aisle! You missed grabbing taco shells? Malos ratos! Swing back around the next aisle and try again.
5) 10 means 10! You have 11? GTFU of the Express Lane!
6) Wanna talk to yur Gal Pal and her cute kids? Go gab on aisle #6 with the Dog Food!
7) You use an electric buggy 'cause you're too obese to walk around the store? No, I will NOT hand you a box of Malomars.
8) Do not leave your cart unattended, blocking the aisle. I will push it away like a stalled car in a snow storm.
9) At the Deli Counter; State your order in a clear distinct voice and in half-pound increments only! And only cretins take samples. This isn't COSTCO for god's sake!
10) the white lines in the parking lot weren't painted at random and they aren't 'suggestions'....You're supposed to park BETWEEN them!!
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